Deeney Dysfunctional

Well, this is different. xD

Uhmm.

I probably won't be updating this blog very often, except for at school, since CreateBlog isn't blocked at school. :D.

I update my MySpace blog most often, so I may or may not copy some stuff out of that one, for this one.

Have some poems.

:3

I’m breaking down.

And it's painful.
I'm trying not to show it, but I'm failing.
Ughh.
It smell like you.
All around me.
And I'm going crazy,
Thinking that I can feel your fingertips on my skin,
Your lips on mine.
Just a habit, to you.
You're an addiction, to me.
These tears only are falling
Because I am, too.
I'm falling in love with you
All over again.

Ouch.

Just a thousand broken promises.
A thousand broken memories.
Crashing down on me.
Ouch.
It hurts to breathe,
To think,
To be.
The only line my mind screams.
"It's not me, it's not me.
He doesn't love me anymore.
Owwieee..."
I hate that it hurts so much.
I hate that I lost my best friend.
I hate that he doesn't give a shit.
Because now he's amazing.
And happy.
"As long as he's happy,"
That's all I can hold onto.
Why kid myself?  I know I'm not fixed.
Why lie and smile and pretend I am?
I won't be.
I'm fighting back the tears and I'm winning.
I'm fighting for my sanity.
But I'm losing.
Why does it have to hurt like this?
He'll never let me go, I know that much.
But I wish he would.
I wish he had no hold on me.
I wish...
I didn't love him anymore.
Because there's no reason
For him to love me again.

In my life, there is everything.
Everything is wonderful, beautiful.
Everything is perfect.
Everything is caring, kind, loving.
Everything loves me very much.
But everything hurts me unintentionally.
Nothing wants to forgive everything.
But it's so hard when nothing keeps quiet and no words of pain escape.
When everything is so wonderful, nothing feels insigificant and unworthy.
Nothing wants to scream.
Nothing wants to cry.
Nothing feels like dying, hurting, disappearing.

In my life, there is everything.
Everything is so fucking perfect.